Maybe next week

I have had this post rolling around in my head for quite sometime. But then life gets in the way and it's a month later and I haven't blogged about anything.

I am in constant awe of my children. This adoption process has opened a lot of new (and sometimes very interesting) discussion regarding family, trusting in God, etc. Sometimes these conversations have made us laugh but sometimes we cry. When Emilia asked me why our little man needed me to be his mom when he had his own mom I had to gently explain to her that sometimes moms love their children so much that they know that the best thing is to put them where someone will be able to care for them when they cannot. The details of the story are not for her or here, but I wanted her to know that his mother had made the ultimate show of sacrificial love. When I heard his entire story for the first time I sat alone in the dining room and cried for her. I thanked God for her and I grieved for situations and circumstances that led her to leave her children.

The last few months have been very emotionally draining for us (me especially) as we hadn't ever dreamed that we would still be here...waiting. I thought by now we'd be settling into a routine, introducing him to Double Stuf Oreos and starting our lives as a family of five. Not waiting for any little scrap of news from our agency or adoption blogs & boards that sounds like maybe we'll get a court date soon. But, to God, this is history. He's already written out this story for us and I have to trust that. Period. Until I don't.

Emilia is in second grade. She is my sweetheart. She loves acting like a big grown up girl but really she's a sweet little crazy cuddlebug. She's still not too cool to hold hands with me or ask in the middle of a big girl shopping trip for a "holdy" while digging around in my bag for Busy, her trusted blanket. Peyton seemed like a 75 year old man when he was her age and I think that's why I don't give her credit sometimes for being so in tune with big things going on in our lives. Wrong, I know, but I'm just being honest.

Anyway, I'm at a birthday party a few weeks ago and hear from a friend of mine that her children have been praying for our family and that Emilia has reported that we might be going to bring him home "maybe next week". I laughed it off saying that if we were traveling next week I'd be non-stop smiling in a really scary kind of way. Later, on the phone with my bestie it kind of hit me. She prays for that. And when I say that I mean those exact words..."And Lord, I love you and ask you to please bring my brother home maybe next week." I have been in a struggle to just let go and trust for months. And, here my sweet Emilia is TRUSTING that what she prays is going to happen because "that's what God says, momma."

If you're reading this, please pray for my faith to be extended. Please pray that we get a court date soon so that I can finally hold my boy. I would really appreciate it :)

"Therefore I say to you, whatever things you ask when you pray, believe that you receive them, and you will have them." ~Mark 11:24