Remembering ( a not so wordless Wednesday)

Nan and Emilia meeting for the first time. I love the look on her face here.

Nanny & Peyton: kindred spirits. I love the way she put her hand over his. Sigh.

One year ago, my nanny-the woman in whom I confided, spent lazy summer days with, danced with and experienced life with-left this earth. Even typing those words put something likening a ball of sawdust right in my throat 365 days later. My family and I spent the nine months leading up to her passing caring for her as she had cared for all of us. She was always quick to come take over with the kids whenever I had a migraine when they were really little, quick with a phone call or a card, and even quicker to tell me to "take care of her babies" any time Wayne and I took the kids anywhere.

I miss her. I miss the smell of her house. I miss the way that I felt as I laid with my head in her lap in the glider on the back porch. I miss her voice. And right now, at this moment, I am missing the feel of her hand and how it fit in mine perfectly.

Three years and 7300 miles

We received an update on our little guy yesterday and were thrilled to see a new photo of him (and sad because he looked like such a big boy)! After I was finished drinking in his sweet smile, every little detail of his surroundings and was satisfied with the fact that he really looks so joyful, I sat down to read the report that accompanied his photo. It really hit me yesterday that his life there is so much different than the life of his brother and sister here. I'm resting in the fact that he's happy and that he's very well taken care of at the centre where he is staying, but I want him home. I want to baby him like I did (and still do) with our other two children.

At three Peyton was getting ready to welcome his sister into our family, spent his days drinking root beer, playing with blocks and being read to constantly. He was starting to pick out his own clothes, wore his bug boots with EVERYTHING and had no worries or responsibilities.

At three Mia had her first big birthday party with her friend Laci, met her favorite princess, Belle, and experienced the Caribbean for the first time. The only thing she worried about was having her blanket "Busy" at her side.

At three our sweet little guy takes goats out to graze, feeds and waters them, draws water from a well and washes clothes. I know that this is just a fact of life there and that he's so well taken care of but it just makes me want him home that much more!!