Cue The Golden Girls theme song...

"I no doubt deserved my enemies, but I don't believe I deserved my friends." ~Walt Whitman

Throughout my life I have been blessed with wonderful friends. A best friend that is always there for me. I can call or text in the middle of the night, emotionally exhausted from the stress of life (andthisadoption) and vent and cry and have the offer of a car ride or late night gabfest in order to calm me down...and laughs...lots of laughs. My beautiful and treasured friend that lives right down the street upon whom I can rely on for everything, anything and all in between. Friends that stepped in early on in Peyton's life and became our family when we really needed friends like them...and then having the complete honor of being like family to all of these wonderful friends. My corner club girls <3 you three! :) and friends that I have made during our adoption process that I adore. Wayne and I have found our best couple friends at church. Our entire church is like a big 'ol family who loves each other and lifts each other up consistently. So, you get the picture, we are blessed in the wonderful people that we surround ourselves with (and if you're reading this, that means YOU :) too!!) So, thank you for being in our lives and walking with us through every aspect of our journey.

Now, to the point of this entry:

Tonight at dinner we got onto the topic of braces which then led to talking about retainers, etc. A memory from way back in the day struck me and I had to share it with my family...and then I couldn't stop thinking about it and about how lucky I am to have the friends that I have. Again, YOU.

I had braces put on my teeth when I was in middle school. (As an aside I would like to mention that I didn't look cute like some kids do in braces I looked just as awkward as I felt at that time in my life. Boo for teenaged awkwardness.) As many of you know I'm totally forgetful at times which is funny afterward but in the moment leaves me a complete basketcase. So, I'm sitting in the cafeteria during sophomore year and I finally have my retainer. I had been lectured about keeping it safe, proper cleaning and care of my retainer, yada, yada, yada. I always wrapped it up at lunch because 1. it grossed me out to look at it 2. it grossed my friends out to see it laying there on the green and tan speckled lunch tray and 3. I was trying my darndest, no doubt, to be cool, act cool and look cool. And you can guess what happened next. I threw my neatly wrapped up retainer in the trash.

And the sad thing is I didn't realize it right away. I was in another class and it suddenly occurred to me that I didn't have it. And panic set in. Bigtime. So I did what every self-respecting trying to be cool sophomore would do. I cried. And somehow managed (through sobs, mind you) to explain to my teacher what happened. As I went to walk out the door to go back to the cafeteria my friend Andrea did, too. She was cool. And gorgeous. And one of the greatest friends I'd ever had in my life. I remember one day in school we were walking down the hall and one of the teachers started singing "she's got legs..." I'm pretty sure that's totally inappropriate but we just roared with laughter and Anz rolled her eyes. Sigh.

Sorry, back to the story. She just simply walked up to me and we went down together-like it was the most normal thing in the world except I was hysterical and Andrea was looking calm, cool & collected. When we get to the cafeteria we find out that the trash had already been taken out. Omg. Outside we went and saw in front of us the reeking, green monstrosity that absolutely and most definitely held my retainer. I should also mention that it was not a cool day outside. It was warm and sunny. It also happened to be fish sandwich and macaroni & cheese day. Please excuse me if I gag.

We did what any other take charge teenagers would do. We leaned in. Gag again. I was running on sheer fear of going home without said retainer. But Anzi had no motivation to lean in a disgusting dumpster to look for a retainer that didn't even belong to her. She did it because that was just her. I don't remember when we found it...but I know that we did. I also don't know how on earth two girls were allowed to just plod around in a dumpster without adult supervision.

I told my kids tonight that I hoped that they found friends that would climb into a dumpster with them. I did then and I have now. Thank you, friends, for that.

Andrea was my oldest friend. I have pictures somewhere of us as little tiny girls holding hands in Sunday School. We grew up together. We schemed together. We played sports together and became the Dynamic Duo during our softball years. When I found out I was pregnant with Peyton and walled myself off from all of my friends Andrea would pack "healthy picnics" (her words) and come pick me up at my Nanny's house and we'd go somewhere to just talk. She hung out a lot with me when Peyton was born and I needed that more than I ever realized in that moment. Even though she eventually moved away she remained a huge part of my life. We emailed and talked on the phone a lot. She sent me cards for every holiday, remembered every birthday and anniversary. Sadly, she passed away when we were just 25 years old from a brain aneurysm. Just days shy of Christmas. For those that knew Anzi it was one of the most profound losses we have ever experienced. But, today, I wasn't sad when I thought about her, mournful of all the things she didn't get to do. I was grateful to have that kind of friendship in my life.

Anz & Owen (the love of her life nephew) October 2005